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Man was designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness.
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When you know what you want,and you want it badly enough,you'll find a way to get it .
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"The person who gets the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore."
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Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want.
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I don't know if Momma was right or if, if it's Lieutenant Dan. I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it's both. Maybe both is happening at the same time Forrest Gump

"Opportunity often comes in disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat. "
Napoleon Hill

Remembering Mom

This coming Sunday in the United States anyway is Mother's Day. This is the time when we all remember our moms. On this day people call their mom if she is still alive or at least think of her if she has passed on. Mom's are special at least my memories of Mom are precious and I know know now that she made many a sacrifice for us as me and my 4 siblings grew up.
My mom is the oldest girl of a farm family of 10 kids with her 7 brothers and 2 sisters there was always something to do. Being the 3rd child and the first girl mom learned to cook at an early age out of necessity mostly to keep this large family fed. I remember her mom telling us as we grew up that my mom would stand on the wood box next to the huge wood burning cook stove and help when she was just 4 or 5 years old. Mom learned to cook and cook well making the most out of what was available. When she married dad and started having kids with me coming along 1 year and 3 days after their first wedding anniversary. Mom stayed home with the kids. She continued to cook and take care of our growing family and seems there was always an extra neighborhood kid or two around too.
My memories include coming home from school and mom always had a snack for us. She stayed up with us when we were sick and she made sure every birthday was special. She made cookies for all the cub scout and boy scout meetings and attended football games and chorus concerts and never complained. My mom is a special lady that I am sure God sent for me and my brothers and sisters. I moved away from the home area some 30 years ago and still called often. When we would go home for a visit every year mom would always make sure she baked me some fresh cinnamon rolls and make some of my favorite meals while we would be there.
This will be a first for me this year on Mother's Day. While my mom is still alive the effects of Addison's disease and Alzheimer's disease have taken most of her short term and some long term memory. Recently I was called by my sister telling mom was in very serious condition and they were not sure what would happen. I was in Montana at the time and when I could get a way I drove to Eastern Kansas to see mom.You see while I was in the hospital back in February mom almost died. The diseases were throwing her hormones and everything off and it was decided to put her in a nursing home because dad could not take care of her anymore. I had just seen her in November and talked to her Christmas and New Year.
I walked in her hospital room and the woman I knew as mom was not who I saw. She did not know who I was thinking I was one of her older brothers who have died. I saw as she sat in the chair by her bed in the Hospital in her own world only coming out briefly to make a comment.
Mom was in there somewhere but the diseases hold here captive now. As I left I gave her a hug and put my forehead to hers and for just a moment as I looked into her eyes I once again saw mom for just a moment.
I won't be able to talk to mom this year on Mother's Day. I have been assured that any cards sent will be read and displayed in her room. I will be thinking of mom on Sunday remembering all the love and care she gave me while I grew up. I will always remember coming home time and time again with the smell of something good on the stove or in the oven or both. I thank God that he gave me the Best Mom in the World. I love you Mom! Thank you for being my Mom.!

The Choices we Make!

It happened so suddenly. I looked in the mirror and looking back at me was some old guy whose balding head and full beard had turned Grey almost white. I was sure that when I went to bed last night I had a full head of brown hair. That over weight guy looking back in the mirror is not the same guy who played football as a youth and spent some time in the USMC running up and down hills in Virgina while attending Platoon Leader Classes each summer. Yes all of a sudden all the choices of eating an extra slice of pie or extra helping of potatoes and gravy became very visible. The ravages of the years had shown up suddenly yet slowly as the years passed.
As I pondered these things I was reminded that I made choices some very deliberately and some because of pressures that have molded my life. I did make some good choices I made the choice to stop smoking some 32 years ago. I decided to surrender my life to Jesus and to stop drinking. As I thought about the choices I have made some good and some not so good; we all have a choice to make our lives the way they are and it is done with sometimes very little choices that can lead to where our lives go.
Think about it when the one who ended up on death row for killing someone. They did not start out as a youngster saying, "I want to be a murderer when I grow up.". No most kids I know want to be firemen, or policemen, or doctors, or lawyers or Sports stars or as my 3 year old grandson to be a superhero who defeats all the bad guys. Somewhere along the way that one on death row made some small choice to break the law or rebel in some way and then another choice to do it again and then again and then again until they ended up where they ended up.
We all have dreams about our future and we all have choices we can make that will take us either closer to our dreams and goals or choices that will take us farther away. I know I plan on taking more time to think about the choices I make that will take me closer to my dreams and to take care of my health so I can live a long and productive life.

Seeing the Country

It has been almost 3 months since I have posted anything. Here is an update. In my intial post I talked about the infection in my leg. It got to the point where I was admitted to the hospital where I spent 20 days with an IV tube connected and a constant flow of antibiotics. I lost about 20 pounds and when I got out found that that long being inactive makes one weak. I finally got released from my Doctors and have again resumed my job escorting oversize loads.
After the nearly 8 weeks with no jobs I was getting a bit worried about keeping the bill collectors at bay for a while longer while I again began to get the cash flowing again. The loads I escorted began slowly with some short loads to Kentucky and then the weather began to break and the jobs began to come in. With a job going to Eastern Oregon then to Northwest Montana.
The job of being an Escort or Pilot Car driver is an interesting job. First you must enjoy driving because you might drive 200 to 700 miles a day with restrictions for daylight hours and certain hours of restriction in bigger metropolitan areas curtailing your driving times. Then weather like the last blast of winter storms that recently hit the Rocky Mountain States.
Once you get to your destination you sometimes have to wait to be unloaded. Since I escort mainly Wind Energy components if it is too windy or rainy or snow then you must wait until the trucks can be taken to the job site to be unloaded.
As you can see being a Pilot Car Driver is a varied job with lots of driving and sometimes waiting and then once you deliver your load you get to deadhead or drive with out escorting a load to your next load destination or sometimes a few days home. You meet many interesting people from fellow escort drivers to Truck drivers to the local people you interact with when you stop at Truck Stops, Resturants, Motels etc.. You see beautiful country and get an idea how big and diverse our country the United States of America is. You see breathtaking sunsets and sunrises. High mountain peaks where you get the feeling the tops are touching the very edge of Heaven. You see new homes built along the way sometimes just a short distance from century old buildings that time has eroded that was the dream of a family years before you own existence. Sadly you also see roadside memorials left at the spot where a loved one lost their life.
In the posts to follow I will try to describe some of the sites, feelings and observations that I experience as I travel the country side. One thing you also do while being an escort driver is you spend lots of time alone thinking and observing. Until next time ....

I have thought of writng a Blog off and on some time but never really did much with the idea. I suppose I am like alot of people who have ideas that I never actually put feet to many of my ideas. This week I began looking at things with an inside perspective contemplating why things are the way they are.

Let's take this week for instance. I got up on Monday and was spending some time reading my Bible and devotions when I began to ache all over. I could feel my temperature begin to rise and my body began to shake and shiver uncontrolably. IT was back!

A few years ago I had a gone in for my annual check up and my doctor was very alarmed that my Blood Pressure was much higher than it had been since he began treating me a few years earlier. After he gave me some immediate and short term prescriptions and test; sent me to a Cardiologist to make sure I didn't have some series problems. I couldn't understand I was going to the gym 4 to 5 times a week. I did tell the doctor that I was very tired most of the time and was gaining weight inspite of my attempts drop the pounds.

I went to the Cardiologist who began adding new Blood Pressure Medications which for the most part made my legs swell and still didn't bring the Blood Pressure to a more reccomended rate. While some brought it down a little my weight continued to increase and my tiredness continued. I did several of the standard tests (I guess since I am not a Doctor) stress tests 24 hour Urine tests, echocardiogram and then it was suggested I go through an angiograham. I went for my scheduled test where they took photos of my veins looking for tell tale blockage of my circulatory system only to find my blood vessels were in good shape. After sitting a home with my now glued together incision and following Doctors orders. My wife thought she had kept me under wrap long enough she let me ride with her as she took our children to the youth group at church and get out. It was great to be out in the fresh air. Afew hours later while watching a movie I began to feel strange and all of a sudden began to feel cold. Which is quite surprising on a hot Summer night in West Texas. After an hour my temperature rose to just under 104 degrees. My wife was very shaken and my kids scared and I was to the point of being delusional. After all the hospital tests and more antibiotics and more days at home recuperating with my legs getting bright red and hot to the touch with added swelling. I recovered! Only to find out that I had probably caugh a Staph Invection! In researching and talking to my Doctor I will be subject to out breaks the rest of my life. The final test that was done a sleep study which finally determined that I have Sleep Apnea which is controlled by a CPAP machine I use when I sleep.

After having this dreaded infection laying dormant in my body now for close to 8 years and after numerous outbreaks at first every 6 months or so with outbreaks getting less frequent and less severe of late.

The outbreak that began on Monday of this week has turned out to be one of the most severe in several years. It took most of two days to get my fever to come down and was even to the point the Doctor wanted to put me in the hospital if I didn't start showing a little progress. Thankfully I began to show improvement.

That is why I decided to try and write a Blog a journal of type to whoever might want to read about how I need to take care of my Life. In the course of this week I realized I had let my weight get to 350 pounds, I let cares of life take hold of my self esteem and the fire of living as God intended it to be was dwindling. I believe that I can do more to Live for the rest of my Life.

I didn't just get to be 350 pounds over night. I didn't begin to loose the zest for life yesterday I didn't begin to grow old last week. I have did it little by little over the years. I hope in the weeks and months to come I will share some of my thought and dreams and aspirations. I am 56 years old and for my full time income at present I drive a pilot truck escorting oversize loads. I will face several obstacles in some of my goals to get weight down and excersize up as I travel on the highways. I believe with God's help it can be done.